I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
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When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
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It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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