The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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