I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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