After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize