i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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