i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
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the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
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btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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