he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize