so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
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I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
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What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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