There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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