Christians are straight up FREAKS
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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