Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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