I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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