I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
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we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
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And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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