I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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