at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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