JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
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My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
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Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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