you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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