You don't have asthma, your pregnant
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize