Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Your cock deserves a montage
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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