i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This is the high leading the old right now
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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