4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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