this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize