I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she looked like the before picture.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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