spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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