i think my tv is drunk
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
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I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
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She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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