Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
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Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize