remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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