Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize