Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize