i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Is it because I queefed?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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