I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize