he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize