like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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