i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
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There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
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NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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