I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize