one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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