I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
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I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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