this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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