Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize