I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
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he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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