my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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