Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize