dude i'm inner monologue high
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize