you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize