We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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