Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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