I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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