ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize