it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
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I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
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How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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