We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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